My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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