Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
