I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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