Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
