Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
