OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just want to make out with him forever
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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