How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
