My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
