Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize