Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
