There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
