That's intense
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
