i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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