Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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