Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
