The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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