Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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