I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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