For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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