i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Duck Duck Cougar?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
