oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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