I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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