Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
