only you would photoshop your dick
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
