i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize