great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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