I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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