BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize