I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
