remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
