Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
