i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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