Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
