i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
