I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize