From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
