is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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