it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
its not stalking. its research.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
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