HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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