how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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