you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
