how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just found a bag of teeth...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
