Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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