I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
