Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
