Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
