Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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