Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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