I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
