I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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