I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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