Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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