i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
