my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
