Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
