Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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