did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
